Let it be

Let it be, for it is not yours to start with.
Let it be, for you are not alone.
Let it be, for you do not understand.
Let it be, for we were never there.
Let it be, for it is how ’twas meant to be.
Let it be.

Blackness in the air and people with their hearts pulled out. Fetid odour lingering in the air like a black shroud. Fear was lurking in everybody’s face. One stepped in and stepped out in equal time. The scene of a close friend no longer possible was too much for them to bear. Kith n kin lay outside unable to grasp time. Friends were long gone in time, memories playing out in each one’s mind.

What was the last time he spoke?
What was the last time he smiled?
What did he look like?

And then

Why did he do this?

-Me, myself and all the people I know.


Do I know you?

This reminds me of long ago,…many years ago,…I had this big crush and I was everywhere and nowhere. Those were days of long hours and few minutes.

Think of it. A blue book in my hand. My long white coat. Scribbling things on my blue book as and when. Thinking long hours about things which might mean nothing at all the next day. It was a long time ago and I remember so little. Yet it holds so much for me.

Remember the bus which was stalled by the wayside. Here I am on the road side,..waiting for the dust to settle and the bus moves away in the distance,…taking all that I used to hold within me. Where am I and what am I doing?

The songs play in the background and the people move as though they hear the music from my veins loud n clear.

So many times have I talked about this with my mouth listening to my ears. So many times have I felt with my head and thought with my heart. So many times have I thought with a muddled mind, with thoughts thrown hazy by my mind, in the stream of reason. All in the twilight of my days whilst at the place I hold close to my heart.

She stood with a stance as tough as stone. She stood with a heart as cold as steel. Why would I even see her? Why would I try to seek her attention?

Why would I even try?

Questions and answers which did not make sense to each other as much as they did not make sense to me?

I still stand at the threshold of a houseful of emotions which I had thought I had moved past long time back. The doors are rusty and I seem to have lost the key.

Mindseeker’s paradise. That is what I am searching for.



High Art

High Art

Originally uploaded by Vulturo

‘For Art’s sake,…What would be art be without women?’

I sometimes ask…

I haven’t got an answer yet.

In this context, what is the construct called ‘women’ in the mind of a male?

I haven’t got a clear answer yet.

NRI Talk

 Quoted with permission,…excerpts from a mail.

“….Hey we do have patriots here.Its
not as simple as u think,or atleast not with everyone.Most of us are stuck here due to
priorities,family responsibilities and few like me just had to follow  their spouses.Guys ,dont
look at the bigger picture alone.Look at all nooks and corners before u declare
conclusions.Let me tell u how it is for us here.Not each day goes by without us
remembering the good times we used to have back home.I can give u hundreds of
examples.Every fake diwali,pongal and all the other functions we try to replicate here leaves
us with the feeling of something major missing.We try to live the indian way in a totally
different continent.Do u know how difficult that is especially when we have American born
confused children?We find bits and pieces of our country in a fellow desi r in an indian
restuarant in the midst of  the US fast food centers r in a Ganesha picture on a car on the
road.It might seem silly but thats how it is.Living here has made us appreciate our country
in more than one way.We are so proud of it when we talk about our culture to the
Americans.We are here because of need of money not greed.Im really ashamed of the
people  who can talk about our country as if they  have  nothing to do with it.But trust
me,that percentage of shameless idiots is sooooooo tiny.We love our country as much as u
guys do.The comforts we enjoy is just a small treat for the big price we are paying.

 Now I look around myself. I see,…and I ask.

Then WHY??!



Tirupathi-what’s in a name?

Think for a moment,…what if I described my memories of an event as disparate panes from my mind. Would it sound like this?

“…What’s in a name is what people say (not ask). Tirupathi is wondrous memories for me…”

“…Memories of an early morning train from Madras. Boisterous crowds inside the train. Train getting empty as we reach Tirupathi. All that has given way to me boarding a bus alone from Bangalore to Tirupathi where I was supposed to meet my folks and my sister’s family…”

“…Deepshika (my baby niece) was somehow not very comfortable in this change of location. She took it well though. All she wanted was her rattle and some attention. If only our needs were as simple as hers…”
“…Weather was balmy and the crowd was manageable. Tirupathi has changed a bit in the last few years. Lots of space has been created and most of the shops which used to be situated in front of the Gopuram (with the entrance) have been done away with. There are increasingly sophisticated systems of frisking and checking the inflow of people and material into the temple. Takes more time to reach the Sanctum sanctorum…”

“…Nothing can take away the serenity of the place. Gentle carnatic music floating in the air. Couple of brahmins moving about. Lotsa tonsured heads, some with a cap, some with a scarf on and some with turmeric paste smeared on them. Beggars by the wayside looking at you with expectant eyes…”

“…Said a few pleasantries to Hemanth’s (my brother-in-law) parents. Went along with Darshu (my other niece), running and skipping in sync with her whims and fancies. Tried to take Deepshika in my arms, but she wudn’t part from her mother. Pah! ”

“…She got used to me in sometime and we were playing in gay abandon. She wud kneel and move up and down. She wud catch hold of whatever came within arm’s reach and move it/ them up and down. She would smile with just two teeth in her gums. Such a toothy smile. And she would ‘ga ga’ if only you wud give her time…”

“…Had a good darshan in the evening. Woke up the next day and we all proceeded to relieve Deepshika of her baby curls. The guy did a good job of it. Now it was time for Deepshika to have her baby ears adorned with beautiful gold drops. The other guy did a good job too. There she was like a red goddess, laughin away to glory…”

Ooh la la!

Doc n Doc

Last few minutes of the day. Fatigue in my nerves and a good buddy beside my glass of vodka.

Me: But what happened today at work?

Anoop: Chuck work man,..let’s discuss something else.

Me: What do you think about the saree man? I love the saree. I have not seen any decent research on this piece of garment which has attracted me so much. I mean there is so much to it. It can be used in a lot of ways from being conservative to being amorous.

Anoop: Know what,…in Kerala the saree has evolved so much and for that matter the ‘mundu’ is what used to be and the blouse is a addition of recent years

Me: Yeah man, that reminds me about a recent Supreme court judgement in which the judge had compared the addition of a blouse in the attire of women with Kerala to justify the ban on Jallikattu in Tamilnadu. And I am kind of mixed man in my response to it.

Anoop: But these kinds of things are part of the socio-cultural milieu. We have the huge spanish bulls which are let loose on the streets every year, and of course we have the matadors and bull-fights.

Me: Kerala is a beautiful place man

Anoop: You should visit Kerala once man. I will take you to some beautiful places which are not mainstream.

Me: India is a beautiful country. I mean,…we have so much variety and so much to discover in this country.

Anoop:One of my friends who stays in the U.S commented about the hypocrisy of India. That was the last straw. I mean people get so enamoured with that country.

Me: Yeah man,..think about it,..most of my cousins are in the U.S and some more are work in progress. I simply do not understand. Our country will soon be a country of faggots, old buggers who have sent their kids to the U.S and a few patriots like us.

Anoop: U shud visit Kerala once man. It is a beautiful place.

Data loss due to muddled mind…

Anoop: But why don’t people understand the potential that is India. I mean we know english, are intelligent. Soon we can become a 24/7 nation man. Catering to the needs of the entire world.

Me: But what about that cable which got cut a few days back? We shud sue Egypt man.

Data loss again

Anoop: Let’s call her man

Me: Let me get her number

We lambast a fellow mallu over the phone. Drunken laughter.

Me: Let’s go and talk to Zerin.

Drunken Hi to Zerin and Abhisar.

Expression of surprise and mocking smiles on the face. Expression of “Bloody drunkards on face”

Me: Well done Gerrad,…

Loud guffaws of laughter from Anoop and Abhisar. I am anywayz laughing at my joke.

Me: Tell me one thing, why do u watch a match between teams which are only bound by a thread of financial considerations?

Somebody in the room agrees with me

Me: There is no such thing as a team Liverpool or Team Arsenal. Why do u watch these matches man?

Anoop: And Liverpool is such a small place man. I mean, not even the size of Kerala. Kerala is a beautiful place man. How can u respect a team which names itself after that place man? (Laughs at his own joke,..I don’t remember if I laughed or not)

Data loss due to u know what

Me: We never had dinner

Anoop: Didn’t we have dinner?

Me: I am going to have dinner.

Anoop: But didn’t we have dinner?

Data loss due to u know what?

Zerin: When did u guys start drinking?

Anoop: I drink MC because it is cheap

Me: Why don’t u drink with us?