My diaries on introspection-29/09/2008

I had a chance to host lunch for few of my friends yesterday and the realisation has been that I am slowly becoming less and less of a person who can make merry with friends. I can do loads of work and probably talk on aspects which have the potential to pose questions to my present understanding of things that concern me. But to engage in casula banter is something which is increasingly difficult for me.

I have written about this before, but I am of the feeling that it is becoming more and more apparent. It has recently come to the fore with respect to new relationships that I have cultivated. One example could be that with my wife’s brother, Mahesh. I have absolutely no qualms or any thing against him. But I have not been able to discuss or probably more simply put, socialise with him as I would have liked to.

I have thought about this and the more I think about it, the more I am of the opinion that I cannot talk superfluosly. I need a point of conversation and I need to be able to connect with the person. But with Mahesh, I find him listening to me most of the times and I am not able to gauge his tendencies or his psyche because he drops not too many a word and is not very expressive with his state of mind. I admire outspoken people as I am never averse to ‘agree to disagree’ as ‘what’ is never as important as ‘why’.

The road is dark and as I seek light ahead of me, I realise that I am afraid of the forst no more. Let them be and let me seek the light that eludes me. Thank people for the sense of the direction which is my lone torch. Let me be.


2 Responses

  1. Heres my 2 cents. Getting the other person to open up is an art. One strategy thats worked for me is to look for hints and listen carefully for what interests the other person and ask her/him an open question about it.

    Happy conversing !

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