What are the odds? I had last been to Corbett National Park more than 7 years ago. Been there with chums from college. Hardly remembered where I stayed or what I ate. Fast forward to yesterday and I had arrived with family in tow at a hotel right next to the same place. How on Earth and what are the odds? Too weird man!
Really time has been but a lark
Been gone for sometime
But the darts are all over
Wrong board, wrong place
Tub thumpin to a nice rhythm
Jumpers on myself
Dahlias and buttercups, smothering by the dozen
Evenings as smooth as a bloom
Fragrant love, givin it to the soldier
But roots are now long gone
Floating as summer clouds now
I just finished a phone conversation with a good friend of mine and I was talking to him about a lot of recent developments. The most important among them being the fact that a lot has been written about Steve Jobs accomplishment, but the most important aspect has been left out.
Most of us work and take leave when we are sick. We are accustomed to taking a leave of absence and not taking calls when we are on sick leave. Forget that, some of us do not take calls on holidays because we want to relax. We are familiar with physical discomfort as part of general illness. How many times have we heard people troubled by headache and back pain. We are all so used to complaining.
But here we have a man, who was diagnosed with a fatal illness and lived through it for more than 5 years. Now the illness was such that we can assume years of painful chemotherapy and more importantly mentally sapping periods of frustration. Frustration because he had just started doing some marvelous things. Everybody needs his attention. Family, children, employees, pressmen and so on. And what did he do?
He must have pulled on some enormous amounts of mental energy in putting everything aside and focussing entirely on what mattered to him. This is nothing short of brilliance. So what is new? Imagine having headache,…now multiply that 10 times over. Imagine having to have an injection. Now imagine that you need that injection every alternate day. Imagine feeling tired after a long day’s work. Now multiply that 10 times over.
Now add up all that you have imagined and you probably have Steve Jobs spending the last few years of his life.
How much he must be enjoying what he was doing to have pulled on. How many of us can love what we are doing the way he did??!!
The strangest Monday morning. Tapping away on my phone amidst a deluge of impending tasks. Am definitely in a talkative mood. But I am not able to figure out the topic. Not about work or family or anything to do with my friends.
Yes, I can talk about Yoga. 9 years since I started and have come a long way. It has ceased to be an item in my daily routine. It is now a part of me. I am shedding my coloured glasses one by one. I can see more clearly now. I can understand better. All the lines that are said and those unsaid, in seriousness and otherwise. Intentionally & otherwise. Directly & otherwise. The next knot was being judgemental & opinionated. Am working on it.
Where is my paper?
One thing leads to another. Ended up listening to piano-man by Billy Joels and memories fell like a cascade. Heavy as stale air in a room being opened after ages. Thick coat of dust all around. Everything seems so familiar that I didn’t know which one to open first. Everything seemed to scream for attention. What started as a wisp of interest soon turned into an unbearable sense of heaviness.
One song after another, like a jukebox. I was changing songs before they were half way through. The tune was more familiar than the lyrics. The music was seeping through me and leaving me soaked. Not quite along expected lines at all. Then I started looking at photographs from people I knew and soon it was one song for each person I knew. turned out to be an interesting experiment.
Where is my paper?
I remember a fragility,
Like a word which has emerged…from the depth of the heart….after so long that you almost forgot how it felt. Like a drop of water on your lips…after being parched for days together….after you forgot how it would taste. I forgot how it felt like.
Then it drizzled….
To start with – The why?
There are lot of reasons. Let me start with the reason why I started. I started because I had this feeling that it will help me focus. I was about 22 years when I started. Lots of distractions in life. So I needed something which can help me focus in life. Different people have different ways. I chose meditation. Thinking about other reasons, basis what I see with my colleagues of my age and also people who are elder to me, I can think of a strong reason why people can choose this options. Feeling like driftwood. Lot of people feel that way. Living 24×7 lifestyles and being consumed by the fire within. Fire of ambition, fire of lust…whatever makes one forget oneself and that which takes more than it gives. One which puts the knower in an endless cycle of thinking that some progress has been made, but the end is always tantalizingly far. Pun intended.
Think about it. If you feel this way, you must retrace the ways and reclaim your life. It was never lost, it was always there. But it is like sand slipping between your fingers. Not very obvious, but insidiously slipping away.
Think about it.